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Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Update to Starting Fresh

It's funny how as much as you try to escape your ego the more it comes back full force. Also funny is how much can change in a week. Last week I was all about reinventing myself and thought patterns. Even though I mentioned the ego and was aware of how much it was influencing my post there still was a lot of praise involved with it. There was this feeling that without ego we cease to exist, which is the ultimate ego trap and thought pattern. Yes, without ego "I" cease to exist, but there is still something in existence beyond that, a deeper connection to existence itself. That was what I was searching for. That is the true reinvention I wanted to experience.

My ego of course immediately jumped right back in and I almost went back and edited my post and completely changed it to reflect my new ideas. Almost just as quickly though I realized there was even more ego in doing that. As if I am bigger and better now and can go back into the past and change my previous self thus reinforcing my current ego even more. I laughed at myself for these thoughts, watched them, and saw them too fade like everything else. I would like to go ahead and thank Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth for the re-awakening that was experienced this week. My stepmother gave me the audio cd and as I listened I remembered, awoke, and found a deep peace. It's always nice to have a refresher and reminder about staying present, not attaching to your thoughts and emotions, and dissolving your sense of me, mine, and I. No matter how far along you think you are in your spiritual practice, how close to God, or how much you meditate it's always a good time to be reminded to be here now. Now too. And now again.

This blog or any blog for that matter is completely self indulgent and ego driven thinking that you or I have anything meaningful and purposeful to share with others; however, as the thoughts pour out and onto the page I am able to observe them and detach from them in some way. Maybe this helps no one or maybe it just helps myself, but the ego says I am all there is anyway so it has it's own self serving purpose I suppose. Perhaps when others view my crazy thought patterns they are able to better recognize the same neurosis in themselves or maybe I'm just able to take a step back and see it in myself better. Constant circular thoughts like this could drive someone mad or all of us mad- the collective psychosis. Breathe. Release. Be.

Peace and love! Good luck on the journey :)

My craziness and ego cannot rest so as an update to my post not even 5 minutes ago here is an unofficial video to reflect my song "Split Myself, " which perfectly goes along with all this crazy ego talk: 

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Starting Fresh

I remember back in my school days how I always used summer time for self improvement. I would read tons of magazines, books, articles, etc. I spent a lot of time walking, thinking, meditating, working out, trying fad diets, etc. I always wanted to be new and different when I went back to school in the fall. I told myself I would be less shy, more outgoing, more stylish, cooler, thinner, healthier, prettier, etc. I would see photos in back-to-school magazine issues and visualize myself looking and acting like the models. I wanted to get back to school and have all of my friends just be completely shocked and impressed by my new awesomeness. 

It never quite worked out how I hoped it would, but it did bring me a new sense of confidence and excitement. I went to extremes in this desperate effort to find myself. One year I went from being a shy gifted good girl singing Disney songs and show tunes to being a thug girl blasting loud rap music with hoop earrings, baggy pants, dark lipliner, and a ton of hair gel. The next year I wanted to be classy and like Buffy the Vampire Slayer so I started wearing dresses, heels, makeup, boots, blowdrying my hair, and listening to alternative and female singer-songwriters like Fiona Apple. After that I went through a goth/punk rebel chick phase and only listened to rock and metal music with a log of angst. Finally I ended up as me- whatever that is. 

Some of my closest friends still make fun of me to this day because I still own and wear clothes I have from high school. Years later, it's summertime again and I still find myself with similar thoughts of wanting to be someone new. Maybe it's my student debt and underpaying day job that have prevented me from having an income to afford a completely new wardrobe. Or maybe that's just my excuse of focusing only on the external. Maybe at some point I just got comfortable, accepted who I was, and stopped wanting to change. But who am I really? I'm made of energy constantly changing so my lack of change is due to my stagnant thought patterns, my choice. While that thought is very disheartening to know that I'm responsible for holding myself back and not continuing to change and grow, it's also very empowering at the same time. If I'm responsible then I can change it. Right now. Just like that. 

As I've been writing new songs and getting ready to record a new album the question becomes who do I want to be? I've always associated my internal and external changes with new names. I was born Lindsay Marie Giovachino. I've been performing my whole life playing different characters. When I decided to focus on my original music I re-inveted myself as Lindsay Joa. When that didn't fully capture my truth I reinvented myself again as Lucia, but that was a name and image under the influence of other minds in addition to my own. I think I'm done re-inventing and hiding behind an illusion that I am someone new. Yes I am new, but the new is a combination of all of the old. I think I'm finally ready to just show all of my imperfections to the world and just be all of it. BE the Disney princess singing school girl. BE the tough girl thug. BE the angry bitch feminist. BE me. 

I've always been torn between my right/left brain. Being an artist and a critic. I took a test once that said I was 51% left and 50%right. Don't ask me how it's possible that I have an extra 1% brain, but my ego likes to tell me I'm just smarter than everyone else :) My strength is my weakness though. That's an extra 1% of judgement. It's like having another person living inside you disagreeing with everything you do. At times I feel like I'm bipolar or have a split personality or as my friends call me a "Ball of Hypocrisy" as I wrote a song about. I've been torn between giving my fans/friends what they want and just being completely open and posting all of my behind the scenes writing videos where I look and sound flawed but it's raw and real, and carefully crafting the perfect sound and image to have commercial success and not regret something I say or do. It doesn't work though. By indulging one side of me I completely neglected the other. Now it's time the other side of me has a say. Time to be free and just be real and forget about critiquing and judging and censoring myself. So here it goes...allow me to introduce the new/old/my alter ego: Marie Givi

I've always loved my middle name Marie and I've always wanted to use my grandfather's stage name Givi. Marie Givi. To celebrate I've decided to jump off a cliff and post some embarrassing old but very real videos I've taken of me just messing around, playing different cover songs, writing new songs, editing old footage, etc. 

If Elizabeth Woolridge Grant can be Lizzy Grant and then re-invent herself and become Lana Del Rey, Stephani Joanne Angelina Germanotta can become Lady Gaga, Alecia Moore can be Pink, and Britney Spears can go from tween pop princess to white trash barefoot bathroom chick and back again then I can be whoever I want with whatever name. Forgetting all the pretentious celebrity "holier than thou" bullshit, let's just be real. We all want to be bigger and better. Healthier and happier. Wealthier and more successful. It's all ego and it keeps us "alive." Without it we cease to exist. I'm just as much Marie Givi as I am Lucia as I am Lindsay Giovachino. It's just a name, a persona, an attitude. It's just the outfit my ego wanted to wear today and while I'm alive I plan on exploring all aspects of myself and living a thousand lives being a million different people. I want to experience it all so share your stories with me. Let me know how you've re-invented yourself or how you've wanted to change and then do it. Let's do it together and just be new, have fun, and play with this material world with the full spiritual acknowledgement that it is all nothing in the end so enjoy it while you can. 


Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Oklahoma Tornado

The last thing that entered my head last night before I fell asleep was the news story about the Oklahoma tornado. As I slept, my boyfriend continued to watch the news so of course all I dreamt of was being in a tornado...

I was in a house with my mom, brother, and sister when the sirens went off. The sky was yellow and storm clouds could be seen over head. We ran into the basement, but when we got there we found that there was no door so we had to go all the way to the back to make sure we wouldn't get sucked out by the wind. In the back were hanging weapons such as saws, knives, blades, etc. (Similar to that scene in Twister at the end when they run into that barn). We knew we couldn't stay there either. We ran back into the house and found a bathroom with no window to hide out in and wait. Luckily I woke up at that point and didn't have to stay in the dream and find out how we fared in the tornado.

This is not the first dream I've had of tornadoes. I actually have them fairly frequently- maybe every other month or so. Usually I stay asleep and am forced to ride out the entire tornado. The common theme in all of the dreams though is that despite the chaos and brutal force of nature I am able to remain calm and bring the people I love to safety. I guess that's what matters in the end. You can't control nature, life, or what is thrown at you. All you can do is choose how to respond. Do you panic? Let fear take over? Or do you stay calm in the face of challenges, help others, and brainstorm creative solutions for improving your situation? Choose your response. Keep your mind clear and your heart open so that when the time comes you have your full ability to handle whatever the situation may be.

My heart goes out to those affected by the tornado in Oklahoma. From my experience with hurricanes I must say that there is usually some good that comes out of nature's destruction. People find a beautiful way of coming together, sharing resources, and helping each other in the face of disasters. Let's hope that strength, compassion, beauty and renewal are somehow able to emerge and help everyone to move forward. Here is a song to help:



How to give: 
People who wish to make a donation to support the Red Cross response to the disaster in Oklahoma can visit redcross.org, dial 1-800-REDCROSS or text REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 donation.

Live Love,
Lucia
@LiveLoveLucia
http://facebook.com/livelovelucia


Thursday, March 28, 2013

Moody Blue's Cruise

I just got back from an amazing vacation where I taught yoga on the MSC Poesia on a cruise to Jamaica and Grand Cayman. It was truly an incredible experience. Every morning I held a yoga session to the music of The Moody Blues which was the theme of the cruise. I was set up on the stage on the pool deck and every morning there was such a great turn out of amazing men and women of all ages awake to experience my yoga teachings. Usually I teach hot power yoga so it was quite a change to tone it down and make it more accessible for everyone. I must say that it is also a huge challenge to maintain your balance on a cruise ship, up on a stage, with the wind blowing and a mic pack attached to your back and a mic headset. Not to mention that post-Jamaica braids make headstands almost impossible and at the least very painful. Each morning had its own twists and turns: from the pool area beginning to fill up with water as people were wrapping up their practice to the time change and sun beating down on everyone to the wind nearly blowing my mat off stage. It was so worth it though because the sun rising and the ocean and sky views were just awe inspiring. A big thank you to everyone who joined me in the mornings for such a unique experience!

It was really great to meet people from all over the world and experience the music of so many great bands. Being significantly younger than most of the cruise passengers I am embarrassed to say that it was my first time hearing most of the bands and their music. Although, I had seen the Moody Blues a few months ago when they played at The Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood. Better late than never though. I was blown away by Little River Band and The Zombies. The musicianship, vocals, and harmonies of both the bands were incredible. Ambrosia was another band that I was truly impressed with and it was really great to meet everyone and get an inside experience that most people in the world have not had.

In Jamaica, my boyfriend and I set out on our own to encounter as much as we could in 6 hours. Well not totally alone as we had Charles as our escort and private tour guide. We shared a drink up on a hillside that overlooked Ocho Rios. It was perfection with the wind blowing through the trees. I found that to be a great time to really practice and understand the true nature of the yoga tree posture I do everyday. The strongest trees are really those that have some flexibility to them and allow the wind to just blow through while staying firmly rooted. I think at some point I even ended up making friends with the trees including one that looked like a dinosaur. Either that or I was convinced that it was another "Jack in the Bush" as they call one native Jamaican who dresses up as a tree near the roadside on the way up the hill.

After some brief handstand practice in a field that I realized one handstand too late was covered in prickly burs, we headed back down the hill we met a boy who did one handed back flips down the road. Then it was off to try some freshly caught jerk fish by the water where you could take a raft ride on a raft made of the trees. After some brief shopping with the nicest ladies ever offering us many samples of rum as Bob Marley played over the speakers, we eventually made it to a little beach where I was talked in to getting my hair braided. While slightly painful, it was actually very liberating to have my hair off my face and not getting tangled as the salt water tends to wreak havoc on my curly hair. We met Richie Rich who introduced us to his little beachside grotto with rock caves shielding the sun and cute little table chair setups for relaxing and enjoying a Red Stripe. He sang us one of his tunes which is still stuck in my head: "These little girls..."

After the beach, we headed to the falls. We were escorted down the rocks and to wonderful waterfalls with fresh mineral water pouring down completely cleansing and healing. Walking up the rocks of the falls we encountered a naturally made rock chair where the water poured in and massaged your back. It was breathtaking.

Last we headed to the Jerk Centre for some authentic Jamaican jerk chicken and one more Red Stripe. Spicy perfection. Then it was back to the cruise ship, but not before handing off our last dollars to some women who had sewed our names into some Jamaican souvenir bracelets. All in all it was a fabulous encounter even if it was slightly overwhelming with the constant draining of our wallets. You gotta love vacation. Yah Mon. No Problem!

The next day in Georgetown, Grand Cayman we took a more relaxed approach and decided to just walk along the roadside until we came to a sign indicating beach access. We found our own private little beach near a resort that was setting up for a wedding in the distance. The blue of the water is indescribable. There were a lot of rocks, but after our Jamaican falls experience our feet were water -rock prepared. We lied in the beautiful white sand and basically just cooked ourselves. The breeze was so nice that you hardly felt the intense sun beating down and plotting to burn your skin.

After spending much too long in the sun, we walked back down our little pathway and stopped for a bite to eat at Da Fish Shack. We each tried some Cayman beers: my boyfriend went for the CayBrew, while I tried the darker IronShore which is more to my tastes. We shared some delicious fish tacos and enjoyed the shady respite from the devilishly deceiving sun.

All in all it was an amazing vacation and truly memorable experience. I hope you all get to experience your own similar adventure soon.

Peace and love!
Lucia
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Monday, March 11, 2013

Mission Radio Show- Complete


I just finished my first online radio show interview! It was great to be on Facets of the Heart and discuss my album, Studio 71 as well as introduce some new material. I like the improv spontaneous nature of interviews. It's fun to try and come up with witty meaningful answers on the spot while attempting to keep your thoughts on track and avoiding sounding like an idiot.

It was an hour show, but the time flew by. It was one of those things where when it was done you stop and think "Um, what did I just say?" I hope I didn't make a fool out of myself. I know for sure I didn't give enough credit to the people who played on the album.  Live and learn. Now at least I'm prepared for the next interview and I can prep beforehand so I make sure to mention everything and everyone that should be mentioned.

I'm dreading my Grammy acceptance speech. I'll probably just get up to the podium and start crying at the overwhelming experience. How do you even prepare for something like that? I always hate when people read pre-prepared speeches, but I also can't stand the people who just get up there and ramble on. I like when interview answers or acceptance speeches sound genuine and real in the moment. That is so tough to create though when you run the risk of completely blowing it at the same time.

My tips for interviews:

1) Relax and breathe. The emotion you convey is just as important as the actual words being said.

2) Know your intention. Are you promoting a show? Selling something? Conveying a certain message? It helps to know what you want the interview to accomplish so that you can steer your answers in that general direction.

3) Be true to yourself. If you have nothing to hide and you're just speaking your truth then your task is much easier.

4) Release the energy. Any nerves or anxiety are really just the build up of energy in need of a release. Run around, do push ups or jumping jacks. Do something physical to release the energy and bring you back to a more peaceful relaxed state.

5) Have fun. Again, how you feel about the experience will come across just as strongly as what you are saying. If you're enjoying yourself then others will too.


Tuesday, February 26, 2013

What's in a name?

I was headed down to South Beach the other day and my boyfriend decided to test out his Shazam app. We put in a few of the records he's worked on and Shazam picked up on every song accurately...until my album came on. We tried the first song..."Unable to recognize." Second song..."Unable to recognize." My debut album Studio 71 is available on iTunes, CdBaby, and all over internet download and radio stations yet Shazam can't recognize it. If someone heard my song in a club and tried to Shazam it it wouldn't work. If someone heard my song on a commercial and tried to Shazam it it wouldn't work. It's like I don't exist. 


Just in case the situation wasn't bad enough, my given last name is Giovachino. My whole life no one has been able to pronounce or spell my last name- not my teachers, my friends, no one. My given first name Lindsay was also repeatedly spelled Lindsey or Lyndsey or Linsey or any other bizarre combination of letters that you can come up with that aren't my name. Some people care about things like this- I don't. I'm so use to everyone not being able to spell or pronounce my name correctly that I've given up even correcting people. Even when I do correct people they won't remember next time so what is the point? 

When I was getting ready to release my album, my friend from Italy was in town and giving his feedback. He said that the name Lindsay doesn't exist or have meaning in Italy. Hell, even the English meaning is almost non-existent. I looked it up and this is the origin: It is of Old English origin, and the meaning of Lindsay is "Lincoln's marshisland of linden trees". Place name. The surname of some of the major Scottish and English noble families. linden tree island. I'm an island. All by myself and non-existent to the rest of the world unless of course you're a linden tree.

Anyway, so my Italian friend Cesare and his beautiful wife Danila (whom the iPhone has decided to refer to as Chester Rae and Vanilla) decided to give me the name Lucia. It sounded beautiful when they said it. The meaning of the name is light. Perfect. The opposite of being non-existent. Plus, the theme of my music has always been to help people see the light and open up to the universe's endless possibilities. I loved it.  


 I made the decision of not including a last name on the album release because Giovachino was just impossible. Back when it was released there were two other Lucia's making music and both used their last names. One was from Europe and sang industrial metal music (which my music would never get confused for). The other was a classical artist who also used a last name (again no risk for confusion). Little did I know that by not including a last name I would be lumped together with any and every artist who has the name Lucia regardless of whether or not they use a last name. If you run a search for me in any music search engine the odds are that you'll now come up with 1,000 other Lucia's- none of which will be me. The only way I'm able to find myself is if I search for Lucia and Studio 71 together, which most people don't know the name of the album before they search. Anyway, it seems like a lost cause to me. 

Living in Miami, I have also now encountered issues with the name Lucia. In Italian it has a hard "ch" pronunciation as in Lu-che-a, but in Spanish it is a soft "c" as in Lu-see-a. I'm honestly not a fan of the softer pronunciation as my background is Italian and I think it sounds more beautiful and exotic with the hard "ch." At least I'm use to people messing up my name already, but it definitely adds an additional layer of confusion when people try to speak about me or search for me. 

I put so much time and effort into making the album and it's really disappointing to know that people can't find me and my music. It's as if my music doesn't exist. I don't exist. I'm this obscure completely unknown phantom creating music that only a few select souls who cross my path will ever get to hear. I've been toying around with some last name ideas and since I'm also in the wine business and a big fan of contrasts and darkness I think that it's only fitting that my last name should be Noir. Lucia Noir. I will re-release my old album along with some new tracks in addition to the new album I'm working on. 

In the end, maybe it's all just karma for me being terrible with names and never remembering anyone else's name. I'm great with faces, but terrible with names. To me a name is a word and words are just signs pointing at the truth. You can never really capture the true meaning of anything with a name or a word. In fact a lot of the time words are a distraction from the real truth. My album is everyone's album. The collective unconscious. Consciousness emerging into being. If you hear it then you're meant to hear it and hopefully it opens up your awareness and understanding of whatever situation you're in. If you don't know whose singing the song and you can't attach a face, a body, and an image to it then it just becomes part of you. After all, it's not me, Lucia, singing the songs. We are all connected so it's actually some other version of you in an altered time/space reality. A version of you that wanted to write songs, sing, connect the world, and have fun doing it. 

Share comments of your experiences, insights, and ideas so we can connect and be a part of each others creations. Cheers! 

@LiveLoveLucia
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